evening of...

16th august

started work this week for the first time, going to be working at my dads buisness up untill thursday. so im out of the house at 8.00 and home at 6ish. its only been day one but i honestly like the feeling of being out and doing something - coming home feels as if i am actually 'coming home' and because its later, i have less of an evening so therefore its way more important how i fill the time.
there are about 2 and half weeks of summer 2010 left and i havent done half the things i should of. but theres still 2 and half weeks so i better make something of it.
i think sometimes when you get bogged down in stuff and you hate what you're doing but you're so damn whittled down and lazy brained, by the exact thing you're hating doing, it just becomes too much extra effort to think of an alternative. even though really, its no effort at all. its strange, its just like splitting up you're brain and coaxing yourself out of something, gently. once you actually do though, and put your foot down and say fuck no am i spending another 3 hours of my night loosing my head to nothingness you feel way better again
so i will not be loosing my head to nothingness for the next 2 and a half weeks oh on sirrr.
the internet should be a last resort - something to go to when theres actually nothing else to do, instead it seems to be the first port of call. i'd like a real life please not a virtual one.
after work i had a bit of a tokyo police club marathon - always forget to listen to that beauttttt band, then got on my bike and cycled down to the country park behind my house. at about 8.15 so dusk was just starting up. its so quiet. played my piano for an hour or so when i got back. beginning to learn 'here comes the sun' by nina simone - should help with my sight reading which is actually disgusting. grade 8 piano is looking a long way off right now. gonna go read 1984 in bed then sleep. i cant even remember the last time i read before i went to sleep. or wrote even. cos this fuckin laptop has been in my room. arghghghg. god i can't wait for some headspace

ah frank sinatra, nina simone and barry white before bed. a warm night on a moonlit balcony and a long black dress and a gentleman in a hat and tails smoking cigars and drinking champagne
i've got you under my skin.....