down down downd ow n

i need to:
-remember every time i put something in my mouth that i really dont need to eat that im trying to kin loose weight. WHY do i need to love food so much
-try planning - save money and dont spend it on bits of shit from charity shops that dont go with any item of clothing thats already in my wardrobe - resulting in me having NOTHING to wear
- actually spend money on stuff i want - like albums i've been wanting for what seems like years and concert tickets and going out. not stuff i cant even remember
- attempt to make myself more attractive- actually bother to do nails and moisturise and look after hair.i find all of the above so tedious and boring but look like a hobo 70% of the time so maybe it needs a try
- be a girl
- not wish i was a boy
- stop trying to convince my self that the grungey look is 'sxi' - i dont think thats working out for me
- generally just sort myself out. hopefully college will help with this , less time = more organisation needed

feel like i'm only just keeping my head above the water at the moment