people just cant be arsed can they? genuinely not bothered. its sad that people who really go out of their way to help are few and far between, it really is. infact, does anyone even care deeply about anything anymore? when did everyone get so fuckin selfish

f u ck

lustin afta

tckt for kele live

finally got some prom shoes (ta office) n some deep purple lipstick. kinda gonna look pRettay hot n fierce fo prom,, even if i say it ma self

'i could have given you everything you wanted, everything you needed'

love keles album

LOOKBOOK.nu: "CROSS" by Jim Dumont

LOOKBOOK.nu: "CROSS" by Jim Dumont: "Cross from Vintage, Shirt from Second Hand, Short from H&M, Mocassins from Vintage"

this is so beautifu uuuuuul

l o ok z

mmmmm sunday afternoon w/ doctor who catch up. just cried loadz at the vincent van gogh episode. love it so muchhhhhhhhh
ma and i went into homefirth (lil village/town) have a wander round, nice way to spend a sunday instead of being stuck in which is depressing on a sunday afternoon. picked up a leopard print shirt in a charity shop - so good! been looking for one for ages, and a nice bracelet thang.
tomorow gonna venture to meadowhell to get prom shoes. right now that seems as enticing as being held down whilst having needs pocked into my eyes cos i am SO TIRED. but might feel differently in the morn. will feel differently in the morn.
last nights dream was just fucking weird, they're getting weirder and weirder and the people in them are getting randomer and randomer. basicly i had organised this party (guessing thats coming from the after prom party i am avin) and like all my year were there along with af ew other randomers. carlos had a knife and he took it out and looked at it glinting in the light then put it in his jacket inside pocket. another guy (the prince) had furry vibrating boxer shorts on and he asked me to stroke them. someone wanted to put the kooks on. THE KOOKS. i think it was a fuckin nightmare. generally just weird. also there was a river that ran under the venue (of the party) and barges on it and i was looking at one for ages. oh and i was also a man. but it was me, i just looked like an old man with a beard. i dunno.
maybe tonight bed time should be 9.00 so i can actualy live tommorow. think i may bathe for an hour or so. home is so shit right now but blah blah titamaboobs must exist i suppose so the rest of (us) brilliant people can look down on them and laugh at them

'summers just beginning baby, i might have to hate you baby. one weekend you're acting crazy i might have to hate you baby. this isnt what i thought it would be, this is the saddest summer ever'

wtf. invite all the dicks in my year to an after prom party at mine and then they're all having parties and they cant even be arsed to invite me. wtf is that. might just pull the plug on the whole thing. i hate people who scrounge off your hospitality and general nice nature. if they think they're just gonna turn up at my house and take the whole thing for granted they can fuck right off.

REVISION. doing revision. i just wanna go home after my exam and sit and stare at a wall but i have to go into town for passport photos for college. town - after an exam. its shit as it is i cant be arsed. (in a generally bad mood right now)

He loved her and she loved him.

His kisses sucked out her whole past and future or tried to

He had no other appetite

She bit him she gnawed him she sucked

She wanted him complete inside her

Safe and sure forever and ever

Their little cries fluttered into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease

He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Off that moment’s brink and into nothing
Or everlasting or whatever there was

Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy palace
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His words were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assassin’s attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
His glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots

Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing

His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon’s gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
Her vows put his eyes in formalin
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall

Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other’s face

17//

feelin well crap mate. hatin stunnerz 4 lyf - which is bad because one cant surround oneself with ugly people to make oneself feel better. and i dont obv. this isn't going anywhere
so tiiiiired. last exam tommorow which is pretty weird thats that over and done with. 9 whole weeks of free time. i hope i dont loose my head (in this heat) or at all really
god i've lost so much weight since last summer and the summer before but i just wish i was slimmer! god its so annoying when girls are like gawd im so frrikkin fat im so fat i wish i was like thin, like size 8. bores the balls off me. but i dont wanna be thin just wanna be like propa curvacious and toned and MMMHM SUGA. there are so many dresses i want - just to be able to pull one on and it just stick to my figure in a proper sexy way without all the lumps n bumps. i'll sort it mert.
thinking about maybe gettin my nipple peirced. i dont want anything peirced really , not gonna get my ears done whats the point. but one nipple peirced would be well sxi. bet it would hurt like a mutha though. might do it when im 18. HHAHAHAA so funneh. so hot

totally cba tonight. forgot how much i love abit of carole king, soundtrack to this summer i reckon.
need to get an early(ish) night for this exam tommorow. think i'll do some cello practise, get a shower, do some writing and then get up early and bust out the remainding revision lyk the pro that i am.
hope someone organises something for tommorow night.. asif i'm gonna organise it. its the end of exams - needs to be a riot! not gonna happen tho is it

my favourite shot in a shoot eva
i want to look like this in the summer time

Andrew Loyd Webber - not real

people i like....

Lauren Laverne

''people talking shit but when the shit hit the fan, everything i'm not made me everything i am''

15/ /

im prefering reality as to internetdreamin at the moment - thinking maybe i wont blog so much anymore, constantly looking around at other people on the world wide web that i'll never meet and comparing myself to them which is frankly riDiculaaaaaaas. so gunna not
this week i am mainly revising music for my music exam on friday which is my final exam (!!!) and also working on my cello like a crazy thang in time for my recital on the 20th.
then hello summer 10 you are gonna be beautiful!

h e l l o, i t s m e

me b eing all vain n stuff
last night
i dont know why taking photos of ones self and posting them on ones blog is either interesting or entertaining - its not really its abit annoying so hm, maybe after this post i vill stop

13// 06

got up pretttty early went to a local carboot, havent been to a carboot in forever. with 10£ managed to pick up a cropped DKNY denim jacket, a camera, a bracelet, necklace and talledega nights on dvd .

went to an 18th last night which wasnt that brilliant but us 4 had a good laugh. everyone needs to just chill da fuck art and be like not carin n dat. hahaha they all care too much how they look and what everyones finkinnn. bumma.

today i need to clean/tidy my room because i havent been able to see the floor all week. im gonna do an hour n abit of cello practise n see what ma gurl reeves doin - perhaps do some music rev. then r + r will be ova for dvd chilllax timez. nice that its a sunday and i dont have shit loads of work to do for monday morning because SKWL DOSEN'T EXIST ANYMORE. luvin it

red scale film

today... english was strange, felt asif i couldnt remember how to answer language questions dont think i got an A* + article made no sense but i read it through with 5 minuets to go and i didnt care anymore. last maths ever tommorow. last maths ever? i suppose thats a lil bit sad. so tonight i am rev rev rev revin it large. then i have the whole of next week to revise for the music exam on friday and then that. is. it. not been too bad really.
got the bus home after the exam sat on my own looking around at all the yr 10s, 9,s 8s, 7s, feel bad for them. god i would not want to do school again. it has been brilliant but it was weird watching them all, so glad im not doing 9.00 till 3.05 anymore. also made me realise how much i've changed and how im gonna keep changin which is weird. cant wait to get home after maths and go to bed or maybe i should practise my cello or maybe i'll just sl eeeeeeeee p. sl EEE EEEe eeeep ZzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzz
last goodbye //when you love someone but theres nothing more you can do - not at all. its your entire life and that person is your entire life and theres nothing more. whats the point then? i'll only make you cry this is our last goodbye

its over, just hear this and then i'll go. you gave me more to live for, more than you'll ever know

10 //06

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