a picture of how i looked this morning. because i havent brushed my hair in probably afew months i am starting to develop dredlocks on the top layers of my hair HAHAHAAH. its propa beaut. but my hairs turning to shit because i just screw it into a bun, curl it, spray it, wash it, screw it into a bun, curl it, spray it and repeat. i might have to do a britney...
today we had our last ever music lesson. i have loved music lessons so much, the 10 of us in the class are kind of all abit weird in various ways but i feel asif i kinda love everyone now. the lads are propa sound. theres only reeve, erin and i that are ze girls. ive just loved it. and then i went up to art on my own for 2 hours and listened to antidotes by foals then another weekend in the city by bloc party which is probs not a good idea because i asciate loads with different tracks on both those albums so that made me feel wierd. 'big big love' on antidotes always reminds me of this feeling i had when i walked home from school one day and it was raining but it wasnt cold and i think it was the start of spring, so the rain lifted all these different scents into the air, like grass and hawthorn and lavender and it sounds so stupid and pretentious but i think i'd had an off day and that in my ears and the smell of the leftover rain kind of made me feel better, but it also made me feel even more strange about my day and sitting in art on my own listening to that made me remember. all my friends just went home and it was the last thursday art sesh ever! and thursday art sessions have been some of the best things about school and it was just me on my own like oh fucking hell.

why does it feel so strange to want to cling onto things when you know that you'll remember it anyway, so you dont really have to. but how do you trust your memory? how do you trust that you'll remember exactly how that felt? exactly how that looked? and theres nothing that can store that away, a picture cant, nor a video. i've tried to get things on videos but it looses its meaning. but i still cant trust that i'll remember it all